I was awakened this morning to continuous lightening, wind, and rain pounding against my window and darkness caused by no electricity, tree branches, roof shingles, and debris scattering across our yard. I can’t remember the last time we actually felt the need to go to the basement in the storm, but this morning was one of them.
The weather seemed to be reflecting the storm of my out of control life. All I really wanted was the peace of a calm restful night.
Summer has always been busy, but for some reason the last few weeks (and the upcoming several) have made me feel as if I am caught in a storm not of my own making. While the calendar isn’t all that full of “have to’s,” there seems to be a continuous list of responsibilities and needs, all seemingly urgent.
We’ve had travel plans and company, parties and friends, good times and sad times with friends and family. I feel like I have a million things to do but no time to do any of them. My list of “to do’s” is growing faster than I can write. And I am having a hard time deciding what should be made the priority.
I feel caught in the storm.
I keep trying to get my bearings, to stand up straight and to find the light but I am being knocked around by heavy branches and worldly debris. I feel like I am running against the wind.
Every project, every responsibility has a deadline and that deadline was yesterday; every need seems to have an urgent desire to be fulfilled; every friend and family problem seems to be something of great importance.
No, I’m not complaining about life. I know that I have more than I need. I know that simply living inAmericagives me blessings that I consider “basic” and the rest of the world can’t even comprehend.
I am blessed by friends and family to love and who love me. I have enjoyed opportunities to be in their presence, whether for a few short hours or a few precious days. I have food, shelter, clothing, a job, health, a standing barn, and freedoms that many only dream of.
Just making the list of these basic gifts makes me feel overwhelmingly guilty. And I am reminded that my purpose isn’t of this world; that God will provide my daily needs and that my reliance on God is really all that is important.
“Then would the waters have overwhelmed us; the torrent would have swept over us. Over us then would have swept the raging waters. Blessed be the LORD, who did not leave us” (Ps 124: 4-6).
I know that the storm I feel is just His way of saying there is something far more important than my wants, than my desires. That the storm I am caught in is of my own making.
What I also know is that God is using the physical thunderstorm and the mental struggling, out of control feeling to remind me that it is God who is supposed to have control of my life. He is reminding me that I need to remember my blessings; He is reminding me that He is in protecting me. He is reminding me to PRAY, to be quiet and to listen. And He is reminding me that I need Him in my life more than I need any of the other things I am trying “to do.” That His Spirit will work if I let it. That He will sort out the priorities if I let Him.
I pray that you will all be protected from the storms of life (and weather) this week.
Heavenly Father, I praise You who are all powerful, You who never leaves me, and You who that always protects me. Thank you for being the light in the darkness of the storm. Thank you for protecting me from the debris of life. And thank you for my many blessings. Help me to allow you to have control of the turmoil that is life. I look forward to the peace granted by Your Spirit in the calm after the storm. Amen.