I Don’t Want To!

I wonder how many times during my lifetime I have said or thought “I don’t want to do that.”

I wanted healthier, happier, richer or better. I wanted more. I wanted something different than what I had at the moment. I didn’t want to serve. I didn’t want to suffer. I didn’t want to give up anything of my own.

But as Curtis Martin says in the book Made for More, it isn’t my more, it is God’s more. It isn’t my will but Thy will be done.

I am here to serve Him. What I have is not mine — it is His. I am here to live as He did, and that may mean I must suffer as He did. That means I must give my life for Him as He did for me. What would have happened had Jesus said “I don’t want to?”

As I sat in church Sunday morning I was thinking about the rest of my day. Actually almost angry that it wasn’t going to go as I wanted because I had been given a job I didn’t want and didn’t ask for. I thought my job should have been assigned to someone else so that I could do what I wanted instead of having to do what “they” wanted.

And then it was as if God had chosen the bible readings for the morning especially to speak to me, specifically to remind me of why I was put here in this place.

“I urge you, brothers and sisters, by the mercies of God, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God, your spiritual worship. Do not conform yourselves to this age but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and pleasing and perfect” (Rom 12:1-2).

He said: Make the most of it. It is not about what you want, but what I want. I have a purpose for you today. You may not personally feel happier, healthier or richer, but by doing what is my will, by serving Me, by serving others, someone else may come to find Me in their own life. You are made for more.

He reminded me that my life is about the choices I make for Him, not the choices I make for myself. He might ask me to do something I don’t want to do. Right now I am not supposed to know the reason because He does. He has a mission for me. If I am doing His will then I will be living His purpose for me. I will be serving someone that needs a kind word, sharing my gifts with someone who needs them more than me, or working because someone else can’t.

“You are thinking not as God does, but as human beings do. Then Jesus said to his disciples, ‘Whoever wishes to come after me must deny himself, take up his cross, and follow me. For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it. What profit would there be for one to gain the whole world and forfeit his life.’ Or what can one give in exchange for his life? For the Son of Man will come with his angels in his Father’s glory, and then he will repay all according to his conduct” (Mt 16: 21-27).

I don’t know who I touched or who I might have served yesterday that needed to feel Him. But God does. It is not for me to know. It is God’s will, not mine.

Heavenly Father, in Your name I give You praise. Thank you for giving me healthy hands and feet that can work and stand for Your greater glory. Help me to accept that everything in my life will not always be better and that I may have to do something I don’t necessarily want to do, that I may even have to suffer as You did for me. Conform me to Your will. Make me more for You. Amen.

Today may be our day to serve our spouse, our children, our parents or a friend—with a kind word, patience or a hug. It may not be convenient to do so but we are made to serve Him, not ourselves. We are made to live for more!

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