Quoteopia! — Das Schmidt Haus Style

I’m on the letter Q today in my Blogging from A to Z Challenge. ** Let’s break into this regularly scheduled blogpost for an important programming note. ** I skipped the letter O, but please know I’ve a post in the works about Ozzy Osbourne. I just need to spend the weekend channeling my inner metalhead to find the final inspiration to finish the post. 

Now back to our regularly scheduled blogpost.

We have good friends whose annual Christmas card includes a variety of hilarious quotes uttered by predominately their four young boys. Mom and dad capture quotes throughout the year and the best ones earn real estate on their Christmas letter. I can only imagine how fun this tradition will become as the boys grow and their vocabularies expand. We excitedly wait for this family’s letter each year, but darn it, I wish I had thought of the idea first.

But I do have this blog, and what else would I write about for the letter Q? Quinoa, Qabalah, Quinta, Qwerty? Let’s stick with Quotes. Introducing the inaugural edition of Das Schmidt Haus Quoteopia!

* * *

Cast of Characters, from left to right: The hubs, Joel; Jude a near wordless but not gruntless 15-month old; Me, Lisa, your humble servant; and Lucy, a strong-willed and articulate 4-1/2 year old

Das Schmidt Haus Boys

Lisa and Lucy, Easter 2013

* * *

Scene 1: Driving around Des Moines while spotting a billboard for the Iowa Vein Center

Lucy: Mom, what’s that sign say?
Me: The Iowa Vein Center.
Lucy: What’s a vein?
Me: Little tubes in your body that carry blood to your heart.
Lucy: Mom, there’s no blood in our bodies. Only water, milk, juice, Powerade, or snacks. Yes, snacks.

Scene 2: Lucy, getting ready for church, wants to wear her Chick-fil-A cow watch

chick-fil-a watch

Doesn’t everyone have at least one?

Joel: No cow watches in church.
Lucy: But it’s a not a real cow.
Joel: But it’s a real rule.

Scene 3: The hubs and I, daydreaming about life at Das Schmidt Haus once das Baby #3 arrives 

Me: Oh no! Our sweet Jude will become a middle child now.
Joel: I didn’t know how bad I had it as a middle child until I met you.
Me: It sucks, doesn’t it? And you’re welcome.

Scene 4: Lucy randomly asks the following question while making her bed one morning

Lucy: Can I marry my brother?
Me: No.
Lucy: Why not?
Me: Ummmm, because.
Lucy: Because he has stinky lips?
Me: Yes, because he has stinky lips.
Lucy: Okay … 15-seconds later … Mom, can we go see the puppets at the library today?
Me: (breathes out a sigh of relief that this conversation is over) Sure!

Scene 5: Jude sees a man with a bald head … I mean, a man who shaves his head 

Jude: Daaaaaaaaa

Me: (somewhat encouraged that he finally spoke a word) No bubba, that’s not Dad. Just another man with a bald head … I mean a man who shaves his head. 

Scene 6: Joel and Lucy, looking at a photo of a girl battling leukemia and being treated with chemotherapy

Lucy: Why doesn’t she have any hair?
Joel: Well sometimes when you are really, really sick you have to take a strong medicine that causes your hair to fall out. But it’ll grow back.
Lucy: Daddy what happens when you’re really, really sick? You already don’t have any hair.
Joel: [cue song: Can You Hear the Crickets Sing?]

And all of Das Schmidt Haus still awaits his response.

Scene 7: Upon receiving an email from a friend who shall remain nameless but ahem, happens to run a very successful Catholic pilgrimage and educational tour company

Friend: I was looking at my web stats and saw a link from you. When I clicked the link, it displayed some keyword searches to your site. One term was “hot catholic women.” If you Google “hot catholic women” it takes you to this page. So now when people search the internet for “hot Catholic women,” they find this picture of you!

Hot Catholic Women

Hot Diggity! That’s me!

Alrighty then, best to stop while I’m ahead. This “hot Catholic woman” wishes you a restful and renewing weekend. For more Quick Takes, visit Camp Patton. And really, my O post is about Ozzy Osbourne. Time to go rock out to Crazy Train. All ABOARD!!!!!!

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  1. says

    Based on your conversation with your husband, BOTH of you are well-functioning middle-children. I am convinced that Jude will be fine…and probably a better person because he’s in the middle.

    Right? :)

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