The first reading from 1 Samuel 3:3-10 from Sunday’s Mass is one of my favorites in all of Scripture, probably because it motivates me to meditate on a question I perpetually wrestle with:
Lord, what do you WANT from me, anyway? Speak. Just speak, Lord, and tell me. I’m listening.
I often get so frustrated because it’s almost as if the Lord puts it back on me by answering, “I created all things for good. Just choose a path and trust me. I will lead you right.”
But but but … BUT LORD. JUST TELL ME! Oh, how much time and energy have I spent trying to figure out God’s plan exactly as I think he would have it?
I’m s-l-o-w-l-y coming to the peaceful realization that I don’t need to know it all after all. Simply, all I need to know is that I have a mission, one that I may never figure out in this life, but one that shall be revealed in the next.
I’m currently praying with the book Everyday Meditations, a collection of Blessed John Henry Newman‘s greatest devotions and meditations. The following prayer of Newman’s is a gem; one I’m now praying daily.
LORD, I am born to serve you, to be yours, to be your instrument. Let me be your blind instrument. I ask not to see. I ask not to know. I ask simply to be used.” – Blessed John Henry Newman
May we all be His blind instruments!